You may have been a couple for some time and developed a good

You may have been a couple for some time and developed a good,
friendly relationship with your partner’s mother and father.
But that might also change when you get married – that’s for real
and, probably, permanent.

It may be obvious or so dilute that it’s hard to be sure it exists but I
believe every woman feels a little bit distressed when her son puts
another woman in the number one position in his life.

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If it isn’t so obvious as to be a real problem, just focus on her good
qualities which you discovered and enjoyed before.
In time, you might have your own son who ups and marries
someone you hardly know.

I wonder if you’ll feel much different to how your mother-in-law
feels in those first few weeks.

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Of course, unless you are a trained and experienced psychologist
you may completely misread your new mother-in-law’s feelings.
That coldness which you think she is showing to you may just be
insecurity on her part about how she should try to develop a
stronger relationship with you and her strong desire to make the
right steps from the start.

Find some time to spend with her, listen to her stories of the
wonderful son, ask for his favorite recipes so that you can cook
them for him too.

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Most of all, show her that you appreciate the effort she made with
your husband and that she is now making to build a great
relationship with you.

I love animals but, with weddings and receptions

I love animals but, with weddings and receptions, I believe the old
Hollywood maxim is spot on, “Don’t work with children or animals”,
especially the latter.

Animals, except hearing and seeing-eye dogs which are trained to
standards that the average pet owner could never attain, are likely
to be a problem.

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Your first line of defense is the fact that most areas ban all animals
except those special dogs from all venues where food is served.
Support the law!

If this is your first wedding and you are both of the same faith, you
should not have much difficulty in arranging a wedding in your local
church or other place of worship.

Most weddings are probably still held in places of worship but that’s
not everybody’s choice.

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Many people are married in a civil ceremony conducted by a
licensed marriage celebrant.

They may have trouble deciding which place to be married in or just
feel that they are not religious and might feel hypocritical if they
went back to church just for this special occasion.
Up a Tree or Below the Sea!

There is a growing trend among
people who do not regularly attend
them to have the ceremony in a place
they are familiar with and which has
some sort of special appeal to them.
I've heard of people being married in
a plane and then sky-diving back to the ground to start their
married life together (they both landed safely!)

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I read about another couple who took their vows under water. That
was a few years ago and probably dozens, or even hundreds of
couples have donned wet-suits and copied the idea since then.
I haven’t heard of anyone being married in the African tree houses
where tourists watch lions but I am sure there have been some
great celebrations there.

Emphasize the Essentials

It’s time for another list. This one is very important because it will
save you time and help you to keep within your budget.

You need to list every relevant item that each of you can think of which you need or want to buy between now and your wedding.

Then, draw all the essential expenses into a new list. Things likesupplier’s accounts, stationery, minister’s fee, hire of venues, registrations, passports, insurance, accommodation (for guests and
the honeymoon) etc.

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Now you should review the remaining items together and remove
any that are very low priority, then save the remainder on a list
called something like “if possible”.

Your budget needs to have an untouchable cushion as well as the
amount set aside for each item in the two new lists.
If you manage to reduce the cost of something you listed, move the
amount actually saved to the cushion or use it to promote
something from the “if possible” to the must have list”.

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If you are unsure, then put it in the cushion for a while.Who Pays for What
Like many things that were laid down as L-A-W for all weddings in
past days, the decisions about who pays for what are observed to
varying degrees by people today who are more realistic and decide
who pays according to ability and whether the couple actually need
or want help in that area.

The bride’s parents traditionally paid all the expenses of the
wedding but that was really a relic of the old view which had a girl
worth less than her brothers. The bride’s parents either paid the
expenses or a dowry (cash or cattle) to the groom for taking her off
their hands. Things have changed.

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Many times, both sets of parents share the costs or the bride and
groom pay the bulk or all of the expenses themselves.
It depends on the ability and willingness of each to contribute.

Don’t want a Professional Caterer?

If members of your family really want to prepare the food for you,
tell them up front that they will have a lot to do and you won’t be
able to help much because of the rest of your commitments.
But, if they’re determined to go ahead, then give them what support
you can and be mindful of this major contribution to your wedding
when you’re thinking about asking them to help with other
preparations.

There can be problems too if someone, like your mother or favorite
aunt, offers to make your wedding cake for you. Preparing a wedding cake really is a major project, requiring a lot of effort and time.

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But, if your budget is very limited, thank them and keep an eye on
their progress so that you don’t become cake-deprived at the last
minute.

The easier option all-round might be to use a professional caterer
and ask the generous relative to maybe take part in the reception or
give a reading during the wedding itself.

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The Right Cake for the Occasion

Whatever your choice of cake maker, I strongly recommend that
you stick with one proven tradition, have your wedding cake made
with fruit cake and not some other type.

Fruit cake may not be your favorite but a well-prepared one will
probably remain edible for longer than most other kinds. Even after
being frozen and revived, it will still taste okay!

You can’t expect a fruit cake to stand up to being dropped even a
few inches but you could send a piece around the world without its flavor or appearance being seriously affected.

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But, please don’t send any fruit cake or any other food to someone
in another country or even another state without first carefully
checking if you might be breaking their quarantine regulations.
If you do get a home-made cake, be very careful about who you ask
to deliver it to the reception. They are very delicate and need to be
well-wrapped, then transported on the floor of the car.

Don’t put the cake on a seat or shelf, even if it is in a well-padded
box. If it falls or even just tips over, major irreparable damage will
probably result.

Leave the final assembly of the upper tiers and decorations until it’s
safely on the table at your reception venue.

Time is another important consideration

Time is another important consideration. If you want the best
possible pictures, set enough time into your wedding day schedule
for the photographer to arrange and shoot the pictures at the
various locations.

Don’t let the photographer tie up your guests for long periods – they
want to enjoy the function, to eat the food and mingle. Also, people
that are not used to being posed and directed get irritable fairly
quickly unless very carefully handled.

Tell him what you want but be guided by his suggestions where
they concern technical details.

You want a photographer that you like enough to be comfortable
around through the big day and one that will get along well with
your guests. You can’t always avoid inviting your less pleasant
relatives to your wedding but you’ve got more control over choosing
the photographer.

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Tell the photographer about any particular shots that you want,
especially groups containing special family members and/or friends,
and encourage them to take lots of pictures.

They will probably have a good knowledge of the venue you chose.
If they say that there are no good backgrounds for some shots,
work with them so that you get the best possible results.
All the above will apply when you hire someone to produce a video
of your big day.

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Give them a list of the particular moments that you want covered.

Setting up the Bridal Party

After selecting the person they want to marry, many brides next
biggest problem can be assigning the formal bridal party titles and
duties among her family and close friends.

You’re often faced with more good choices than slots to fill or you
may not have enough people to fill your list.

But, remember that asking someone to fill one of those slots is not
doing them a favor; everyone will have responsibilities and all of
them will need to be capable of contributing real effort to making
the whole event a success.

You haven’t got much choice with your parents but you need to give
careful thought about who you ask to fill the other slots.
You need to be sure that each friend or family member can be relied
on to produce and also has the time and financial resources, so that
the costs involved will not be a burden to them.

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The Maid or Matron of Honor

The Maid or Matron of Honor is the most prestigious position, after
the parents of the bride and groom. It’s also a lot of work, including
helping with the invitations and checking out possible suppliers. But,
I know of a few families where someone was very hurt that they
were not asked by their sibling to fill that coveted position.

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The solution, many times, is simply to have two of them, provided
that both people have the qualities needed to do the duties and give
real support to you through the whole adventure. That can be sold,
if necessary, by mentioning the fact that there’s plenty of things for
the two of them to do and so, it might be too much too ask of one,
however loyal a friend.

Surviving the Engagement

From this point, you have to deal with some issues which affect
each step in the journey to your actual wedding:

Finances: There is a cost attached to each part of the journey and
the wedding itself. On top of everything else you have to contend
with, it’s very important to keep your available funds in mind.
It would be a bad mistake to splurge on your dream wedding to the
extent that you are both consigned to a financial nightmare at the
start of your marriage.

Another important financial consideration is to be aware that the
other people involved, family and friends, may have limited finances
but feel obligated to meet any requests or arrangements you make.
Don’t put an unreasonable burden on them.

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Schedule: Almost everything will take longer than you might
anticipate. I’ll give you a list of important milestones to plug into
your personal calendar. Because everybody’s situation and
obligations are different, you’ll need to adjust it to fit you.

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Health: It’s obvious that there will be demands on your physical
and emotional strength above what you’re probably used to. So, it’s
a good idea to get a full physical check early on and make sure that
you eat well and exercise to help you cope with all of it.

The Campaign Begins

Congratulations, you’re engaged!
Better start planning your wedding, because you will probably need
every minute!

And, time is not all you’ll need.
You’ll need careful planning as well as enough tenacity to bounce
back up and continue when some completely unexpected hazard
gets in your way.

I tried hard with this ebook to save you money, time and
frustration. It’s aimed to protect you from all kinds of problems and
save you money and time.

Read it now (spare time will get real scarce soon) and keep it handy
as you go toward your happiest day.

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It’s based on my experience and those of my friends and colleagues
who shared with me their experiences - sometimes on condition of
strict anonymity. I’ve also been lucky enough to be able to include
tips from people I know who provide their services or products to
weddings and other functions.

You can find plenty of information about the traditional wedding
arrangements here.

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I’ve tried to show how you can, if you want to, adapt or even
discard them to make a more pleasant and memorable experience
for you and everyone involved.

The first rule for your wedding is that it’s YOUR WEDDING.
Let’s get started …

Fashion photography is all about fantasy

Fashion photography is all about fantasy. It is about creating an alternate
reality, even if that reality is just a perfected version of what already exists.
Fashion photography can be whatever you want it to be:
■ It can be Zen-like and peaceful, or it can be rebellious and in your face.
■ It can be delicate and refined, or it can be tough and gritty.
■ It can be quiet and muted, or it can be bold and colorful.

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Fashion is about fantasy—whatever fantasy you envision. As a photographer,
this freedom is truly rewarding.

The ability to create fantasy appeals to many clients. Most people don’t want
to just look like themselves in a portrait; they want to look like the “perfected”
version of themselves, or better yet the version of themselves they see in their
mind. People usually don’t desire the reality; they desire the fantasy. They can
have the reality any day, but they come to you to create what they wish they
could be or experience what they wish they could have.

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In fashion photography, you allow your subjects to become part of a piece of
art. There are no restrictions and no right answers. I love fashion photography
because of the freedom it allows. I can envision anything I want and make it
come to fruition through photography. If I want to create an image of a girl
wearing a huge wig with rain and fog surrounding her, nothing is stopping me.
In fact, I have done that very shoot, as seen in Figure I.1. I had a vision, and
I wanted to bring the vision of this beauty to life. That type of creativity and
freedom is liberating. Fashion photography has no restrictions.